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"I cannot just...." Really? Recognise the fatal flaw in your reasoning.

We all said it at some stage. "I cannot just..."

As a coach, I often hear this from my clients:

"I cannot just pack up and move."

"I cannot just quit my job."

"I cannot just leave him (or her)."

"I cannot just change careers."

The main problem with this resistant expression lies in the fatal flaw behind the reasoning in it.

Actually, you can do anything you choose to do. I see the "I cannot just" as a convenient (or often lazy or fearful) cop-out within a tough decision that someone needs to make.

The flaw lies in this: You may think that you are right that you "cannot just" make a big move or take an important step. And it sounds so logical, that most people will agree with you....which validates your emotions or resistance.

But you see, it never actually is true that you will "just" do something. When you think that way, and talk that way, you intentionally (or maybe unintentionally) skip over the most important part of what you actually CAN JUST DO. And that is to decide.

You always first need to decide. And deciding is a "just".

"I decide to pack up and move."

"I decide to quit my job"

"I decide to leave him (or her)."

"I decide to change careers."

After you made a truthful and committed decision, then nothing that follows will simply be "just." It will then be the necessary steps you take in order to make your decision a reality.

Once you decided to pack up and move, you can start searching for a new place and make relevant arrangements.

Once you decided to quit your job, you can start looking out for something else and take the necessary action of finishing well.

Once you decided to leave him (or her) you can plan on how you will communicate it and what next steps you will take.

Once you decided to change careers you can start your research into the process and preparations to do so.

Stop thinking that you will ever have to "just" do something. Stop hiding behind the flaw of reasoning.

Reframe your thinking into the necessity to make decisions with certainty and commitment. And then play out the process.

That is not "just" doing something - that is taking control over your life, your future and your destiny.

Here is my motto:

Think. Decide. Do.

And of these three things, to decide is the most important. Once you did that, things can happen.

If you find that making decisions don't come easy to you, or maybe you just need to sound board and have some kind of accountability to following through with where you decided to go. Coaching can be beneficial for you! Have a look at what Strength Synergy offers on our SERVICES page or CONTACT us if you have any questions.

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1 Comment

Dries I love you motto of Think. Decide. Do.

It connects with my motto of See it, Own it, Deal with it.

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